100+ Blonde Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Blonde Jokes So Funny They Might Dye Your Hair
Welcome to the world of blonde jokes, where every punchline brings a smile, a snort, or a good belly laugh. These include everything, some wild picks from forums and social media.
We’ve gathered them all in one place. This is a community-style post, meaning jokes come from readers, friends, forums, and even that one uncle who can’t stop telling women jokes at dinner. Whether you’re looking for the best jokes or just a chuckle before bed, this is your golden spot.
Warning: The following blonde jokes are packed with silly humor, light-hearted roasting, and timeless giggles. If you’re blonde, take it as a compliment. If you’re not, you may want to consider becoming one.
Short Blonde Jokes
Quick and cheeky, these jokes are perfect for group chats, office breaks, and bathroom walls (yup, someone probably scribbled one there). Each one is just a line or two. Read fast, laugh hard.
- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
- What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
- How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.
- Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They lost the recipe.
- What did the blonde do when she saw “Under Construction” on a website? She grabbed a hammer.
- Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? It said “concentrate.”
- What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence.
- Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.
- Why did the blonde fail the blood test? She forgot the answers.
- Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? She thought it was dinner.
- What do blondes and computers have in common? You need to hit “restart” a lot.
- Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid? They can’t fit 8 cups of water in that little packet.
- Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
- How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.
- Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She was trying to make up her mind.
- Why was the blonde so proud of finishing a puzzle in 6 months? The box said 2 to 4 years.
- What’s the blonde’s favorite keyboard key? “Any.”
- Why was the blonde staring at the frozen orange juice can? It said “concentrate.”
- Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W’s.
- What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex? Locking the car door.
Clean Blonde Jokes for All Ages
Nothing dirty here. These are safe for the family WhatsApp group, school functions, or the boss’s birthday email.
Perfect for Kids
- Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the party? She thought it was a sleepover.
- How do you keep a blonde in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow.
- What did the blonde say after seeing Cheerios in a bowl? “Wow, doughnut seeds!”
- Why did the blonde bring a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.
- What did the blonde name her pet zebra? Spot.
No NSFW Here
- Why did the blonde take a ladder to school? She heard it was a high school.
- What do you get when you cross a blonde and a detective? Sherlock Homeschooled.
- Why did the blonde keep a calendar in the fridge? She wanted to save the dates.
- What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents happen at home? She moved.
- How do blondes drive during winter? With both feet on the heater.
Blondes may be funny, but some pickup lines are even funnier, and just as questionable.
Dirty Blonde Jokes (18+)
Heads up: The following jokes include adult themes. Nothing rude or over-the-top, just cheeky humor for grown-ups.
- Why did the blonde get kicked out of the strip club? She was trying to give change.
- What did the blonde say after seeing a sign that said “Blow Horn”? She asked, “How?”
- Why did the blonde sit on the copy machine? She wanted to scan her assets.
- How do you make a blonde scream twice?
First time during the act.
The second time, when she finds out it was recorded. - What did the blonde say to her boyfriend during a romantic dinner? “Let’s Netflix and nap.”
- Why did the blonde think birth control pills were mints? They were both chewable.
- Why did the blonde keep a bra on her desk? To support her arguments.
- Why did the blonde wear see-through pants? To show off her new tattoo.
- What do you call a blonde lying on a beach? Sandy cheeks.
- Why did the blonde get lost during hide-and-seek? She thought “count to ten” meant in dollars.
Most Liked Blonde Jokes (Top Picks)
- “I locked my keys in the car… and it was running. Don’t worry, I was in it.”
- “I bought a solar-powered flashlight. Works great during the day!”
- “I returned a shirt because it was too tight. I bought it online and thought XL meant Extra Love.”
- “My GPS told me to go west, so I turned left. Seemed logical.”
- “Microwaved my phone to dry it. RIP iPhone.”
- “Thought USB was a country. Googled its flag.”
- “I used White-Out on my computer screen. Still can’t undo it.”
- “My shampoo said ‘For Dry Hair Only.’ So I didn’t use it in the shower.”
- “Tried to use a debit card on a vending machine. Inserted it in the snack slot.”
- “I told my friend I’m getting a PhD. She asked if it hurts.”
Blonde jokes too tame? Let’s turn up the gas with these hilariously immature fart jokes.
Dumb Blonde Jokes That Never Get Old
Longer setups, better payoffs. These jokes work best when you imagine the scene: a little story, a lot of laughs.
Shared by: @BigKev72
A blonde walks into a library. She yells, “I’ll take a burger, fries, and a Coke!”
The librarian says, “This is a library.”
The blonde whispers, “Oh, sorry… I’ll take a burger, fries, and a Coke.”
Shared by: @LaughMaster14
A blonde called tech support.
“Hi, my computer screen is dark.”
The technician asked, “Is it plugged in?”
She replied, “I don’t know. I can’t see.”
Shared by: @GigglyTina
A blonde bought a new car. She returned it the next day.
“It doesn’t work,” she said.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It’s too slow. I kept pressing the ‘D’ for drive, but it only goes during the day.”
Shared by: @LOLmamaX
A police officer pulls over a blonde for speeding.
“Can I see your license?”
She says, “I don’t have one. It was taken after my fifth DUI.”
He asks for registration.
“It’s not my car.”
“Where’s the owner?”
“In the trunk,” she replies.
The officer freaks out and calls backup.
Turns out the car was hers, she had a license, and no one was in the trunk.
The blonde smiled and said, “Bet he told you I was speeding too, huh?”
Shared by: @DadJokesMike
Two blondes are walking in the forest. One says, “Look, deer tracks!”
The other says, “No, those are bear tracks.”
They argued until the train hit them.
Blonde Jokes from Forums & Social Media
Username: LOLQueen44
“My friend is blonde, and she installed a car alarm on her bicycle. It scared the cat so much, it ran up a tree. We now call the bike ‘Fort Knox’.”
Username: MemeDaddy22
“Blonde I dated thought Wi-Fi was short for ‘Why Fight’. Honestly, might be onto something.”
Username: TikBlondeGuru
“She asked me if eggs hatch faster if you microwave them. I told her to try it. I heard the scream before the beep.”
Blonde Joke Generator: Instant Laughs Online
Looking for the funniest blonde jokes on the internet? This Generator gives you a fresh laugh every time you click. Packed with short blonde jokes, clever one-liners, and silly punchlines, it’s perfect for anyone needing a quick giggle. Whether you’re into dumb blonde jokes, clean jokes, or just need something to brighten your day, this tool has you covered.
Final Laugh and Call to Action
That’s it. Over 100 of the best blonde jokes, handpicked, sorted, and served with a side of silly. We mixed in brunette jokes, women jokes, and a whole variety to keep the mood playful. Whether you smiled, chuckled, or gasped, mission accomplished.
Now it’s your turn. Got a blonde joke we missed? A classic from your family? A Reddit gem that cracked you up?
Share it in the comments, and we might feature it in the next update. And don’t keep the fun to yourself, share this post with a friend who could use a good laugh.
Laughter looks good on everyone. Even blondes.
Craving more laughs? These food jokes are served hot and cheesy.
